Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just had sex bonerless
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
