Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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