You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize