I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
