i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
