You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
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I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
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just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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