69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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