Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Less talking, more tequila
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
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Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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