is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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