these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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