He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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