Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
