I'm drive I can fine osifer
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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