i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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