i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
