His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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