why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
