why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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