sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize