listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
