so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just pee around me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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