Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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