wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize
