he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
