That's intense
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The air taste purple.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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