I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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