i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
