I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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