Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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