Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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