i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
