True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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