Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
