i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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