We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
