This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
