There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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