Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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