Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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