Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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