I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
