my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
