I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
