she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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