HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
