Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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