I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
