ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize