Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...