if you like me you must not know who I am
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea