Joe is yelling at the trees again.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?