Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.