So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
