You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
