The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
