your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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