After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
