Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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