Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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