I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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