I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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