my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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