He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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