Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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