i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
